I recently pulled out a few old Journals from 1994 - 1995 and read a few entries. (before blogs) One was that the most horrible part of being a Mom was combing Amanda's hair. When she was about 6, she acted like I was jerking them out one by one.
Then I held this family meeting when everyone was 2, 4, 6, and 9. We told each other three things we loved about each one and one thing we could do better at. (I was trying to solve some sibling quarrels.) The best part of that was when Alexandra couldn't think of one single thing at all she didn't like about her Dad! :) Cute! She still feels the exact same way today, I'm sure. He is perfect in their eyes, and mine too, to be truthful. Thank you God.
Reading these old memories, made me realize it was time to make a list of
"10 things I love about each one of my children."
So often these days, at this point in our parenting life, we are often criticizing instead of boasting and bragging about the positive. We are nagging about the negative. Or at least that is what I have been doing too much of for the past several years. Living away from them all and not knowing much about their everyday lives leads me to call about only
"the issues" and not just to visit about nothing. Did you get your flat fixed? Is the grass dying? Are you watering it? How much? You need to go to church! Did you pay your car insurance? You need to make sure and study hard this semester, Did you buy your books yet? Are you eating right? Praying? Exercising? You are spending your money too fast on going out! Blah Blah Blah, I am positive there are several parents experiencing the same things, living abroad or not! I feel like all I do is gripe at them!
What happened to the times when they helped clean off their plate in the sink and we were ecstatic and applauded them like they have just cured cancer! The older they get, we begin to expect so much more....
It is time again for that boasting and bragging and celebrating and honoring the young fabulous people they are becoming...
I know this is a very personal post and I am sharing way too much maybe, but it is essential in growing that we recognize the changes in parenting and do our best to adjust to the new issues and not make a habit of nagging so much you seldom hear from them. I am trying to practice what I am preaching!!!
My kids are not kids anymore, why am I treating them like they are? For me, I am only the mother, that is all I know how to be to them, for 27 years I have nurtured them, provided for them and guided them, and now I am supposed to sit back and watch from the sidelines and in case they make bad choices, knowing they are going to learn from their mistakes. Mother nature makes us want to prevent all that. But real life says
"don't!"
There are no mistakes, only lessons!!!
I have a pillow sitting beside me and I have sort of neglected the saying on it...
"A good Mother is like a quilt, she keeps her children warm but does not smother them!"
I've spent my whole life telling them what to do. Now I am having a hard time stopping, It's called letting go!
I can no longer control if they paid their parking ticket, or took out the garbage from halfway across the world. It's not my job anymore. As weird as that is, relinquishing your duties as a parent little by little is devastating...as well as exciting.. It is not that they don't need us anymore, they need themselves to grow and can't do that unless we release the ties, bonds, strings... one by one, or a few at a time.
It is happening daily to each of us. Remember the first time you allowed them to cross the street alone? Ride the bus? Spend the night away? Driving away from the first dorm room? It is the same release, but for some reason there are not that many strings attached anymore, we have cut most of them off by the time they are 20, 22, 24 & 27 years old.
We can only hope that the magnetic force that pulls the family together is not at all held by strings ~ but by hearts!!
(I just made that up:)
10 things I love about Nicholas
1. He was the most beautiful baby and still has adorable dimples I can't resist.
2. Hilarious personality and incredible story teller
3. Ambition to succeed and his enthusiasm on Christmas morning still at 27! He is not pretentious.
4. Kissing his mother when he was a senior in front of the school and not being embarrassed, he is becoming a very mature thinker.
5. He sings with spirit and draws with amazing imagination, he is talented.
6. His love for his sisters and how well he took care of them his whole life. Nicholas is an essential link in our complete family. The dynamics he brings is fun, uplifting and beautiful. We all adore him.
7. He makes everyone happy to be around him and never meets a stranger.
8. Uses big words and is intelligent, has great friends and a big heart.
9. Creative spirit and uses it daily - his passion for fabulous food and interesting people.
10. Cute and kids adore him, he will make an awesome Daddy!
10 Things I love about Amanda
1. She sings like an angel from heaven. Her voice makes people cry it is so beautiful. Her faithful words when she sings praise music is overwhelming and touching.
2. She is beautiful - Especially with the "bump-it bangs" all pulled back - she is gorgeous.
3. Fabulous body. Looks great in everything she tries on.
4. Her love of family - She truly enjoys being together with family.
5. Adventurous - Tells great stories - writes great stories.. Is humorous. Loves skiing and is great at it.
6. Mocking - a gift as weird as it sounds, is fabulous! Impersonating close to professional!
7. Nack for decorating - sewing - cooking and passion for food. Amazing ETCH-A-SKETCHER!
8. Everyone loves her, especially kids. She was a terrific preschool teacher and will be a great baseball Mom.
9. Amanda is appreciative of compliments, She says "Thank you" and means it.
10. Takes charge of things very well. She is
not a wimp. Like a shovel to get an armadillo out of the pool at 5AM and calling 911 when someone is bleeding without panicking! But still very sensitive.
10 Things I love about Alexandra
1. Her calmness and total love for each family member is touching. Never says anything bad about anyone.
2. Responsible, I can always count on her to get things accomplished.
3. Helper - Cinderella, finishes her tasks, she thinks of others first ~ we can all learn from that.
4. Contagious heartwarming laugh.
5. Sweet kind disposition, her love for babies and dogs.
6. Smart in Math, likes square roots and bonds with Chris - a bit jealous of this.
7. Beautiful hair and precious dimples and gorgeous everywhere inside and out.
8. She is giving - and reads so well. Talked at a very early age which was astounding but precious.
9. Alexandra is not complicated, she is straight forward and HONEST!
10. She has a beautiful Faithful heart.
10 Things I love about Ashlynn
1. Littlest thing - adorable all over. Super extra long eyelashes...
2. Cuddles and likes it. Loves her siblings.
3. Dancing machine - fabulous ballerina when she was 3! Beyonce' just wishes she was this good.
4. Caring and loving to others. Makes friends easily. Has a good head on her shoulders.
5. Excellent in writing stories, taking pictures. Is good in English. Her experiences have made her a better person.
6. Has fun and makes others have fun when they are around her - up beat. Sings a lot makes you feel good. Music builds her soul. Can memorize a song the first time she hears it.
7. Super creative in Art - especially Clay - Creative in room design. Loves to rearrange all the time.
8. Really super good athlete for years in sports. Would make a great coach/PE teacher. A natural.
9. Beautiful little body and prefect feet!
10. She is fashionable. Girly girl, I like that.
I chose to celebrate my wonderful son and daughters today.
I am so proud of them all - beyond belief.
I must remind them again.
