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Smiles, Sherry

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Celebrating life...

I have thought about this post for awhile now. How do I express the loss of a man I once loved the most without feeling like I'm not honoring my present love of my life? So I decided to do what I do best,  just let it all out. Let my tongue run away with my brain without any filter system what so ever.  Just say exactly what I am feeling and try not to say anything that would hurt anyone.

It's been twenty five years on September 19th that our adorable David left us. It was a Saturday... Some days it seems like a completely different lifetime, and other days it seems like yesterday I was listening to him whistle in the shower and dance around a 5AM so happy to be alive. I am not going to reminisce about David's entire life here, but I can highlight a few amazing moments, our marriage and the birth of both of our beautiful children.. and a whole lot in between.. I want to honor him today by sharing how much we have missed him and also by shedding a light on others that may have gone through loosing a loved one, or going through it now..

Maybe in some way, my story will comfort someone else feeling like their life is over because someone elses life ended. I am here to tell you that you can live and love again when all you can see is darkness.

David brought happiness and love and a boost of energy to everyone he met. I wished I had a picture to post of him, but I don't.  He is remembered by his zest for life, just ask anyone that knew him. This is hard to take knowing he is not here anymore to give out those vibes... But his children are.

There are some things you can not teach in life. Some things that are in your genes, in your blood and in your soul, generation after generation bred in the lives of others that you can not explain..
Qualities richly instilled only by the grace of God. I am so lucky to still have all that part of David living through and in Nicholas and Amanda. It is clear to me, he is still with us.

I would like to think that he can peek down here and see the young man and woman his children have become, and that I didn't give up on life, living and loving.

Today as I honor David and his short time on earth (28 years) and all the good he was, I can not end it there. I must honor the husband and father Chris as been for almost 24 years now. How he was the ultimate kinsman redeemer.. How he took my very young family and loved us completely and reattached that major link that was empty - broken.

Feeling as low as you can go and you think that you are as bottomless as you can get, then there is a bright knight in shinning armor that really does come and save you. This wasn't a fairytale, it was for real. By me loving Chris didn't then, and never will, take away from the love I had for David. And sometimes that is hard to understand, by myself and others. Even after 25 years...

For those of you that are hanging on to the person that was.... It never goes away.. The hole in your soul remains.. David Patrizi will never be forgotten ~ our hearts all still ache. A part of me is gone with him... We still miss you David..
"I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go, our lives are better left to chance. I could have miss the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance.." 
- Garth Brooks

and.. to a new life ahead... please go for it... you must keep you head lifted towards the sky...
"Someone had a hand it in long before we ever new..." -Tracy Byrd

I am here to tell you it is never easy, worrying about what people think.. The day you give that up, you free yourself to live the life you deserve.

Although sometimes it's hard to... you can still dance...


Never loose faith in what God has in store for you.

1 comment:

Kelle said...

You are an amazing person!