Two Mothers Remembered

I had two mothers - two mothers I claim, two different people yet with the same name. Two separate women diverse by design, but I loved them both, because they both were mine. 

The first was the mother who carried me here, gave birth and nurtured and launched of career. She was the one whose features I bear, complete with the facial expressions I wear. She gave me music which follows me yet, along with examples in life that she set.

Then as I got older, she some younger grew, and we'd laugh as just mothers and daughters can do. But then came the year that her mind clouded so, and I sensed that the mother I'd known soon would go. So quickly she changed and turned to the other, a stranger who dressed in the clothes of my mother.  

Oh she looked the same, at least at arm's length, but she was the child now and I was her strength. 

We'd come full circle we women of three, my mother the first, the second and me. 

And now if my own children should come to a day, when a new mother comes, and the old one goes away. I'd ask of them nothing that I didn't do. Love both your mothers as both have loved you.

Our Thanks to those who serve!!!

A few years ago I had the idea of trying to get soldiers off the base for Christmas. At the time the base commander was not in favor of doing this. Doha has two huge bases here,  Army and Air Force with thousands of troops living in barracks in the middle of the desert. A lot of people's sons and daughters are here without family, without their children, wives, husbands and without their Mommas. 

I did not give up on this idea. Over the almost 6 years we have been here, I have hosted bits and pieces of Marines and Army guys at the house for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Two years ago I had the pleasure of meeting the new base commander that encourages civilian contact and an Air Force Lieutenant that has the authority to do the same.  

We hosted about 15 guys in 2010, 50 in 2011 and this year we were able to get 100 Army and Air Force guys off the base, to meet, bless, feed, share stories and even a few hugs. I cried last year when they got off the buses this year I did much better. I didn't cry until the young soldier girl told me she had twins that were 2! OUCH, my Mommy heart ached for her.

I could not have done it without all my friends helping me, my passe, and Raquel (my almost wife). 

30+ families helped supply Grandma's cornbread recipes, Uncle Homers cheese balls, Aunt Floy's oatmeal cookies, Ann Rapp's sweet potato casserole and all the heirloom family traditional fixins.

We are southern, so we make cornbread dressing, other folks from all over the US made their specialties.  The cornucopia was overflowing with our bounty.

Although the prep time to organize this event is quite a task,  

when touching the back of a serviceman during our blessing, reminds me of what little I did compared to the great sacrifice they make for us.

Our safety as Americans, no matter where you live, is protected by many. Even way over here in the middle of no where we are protected by these young, old and currently family-less soldiers...

But for one day, they had us, the community of caring wonderful people who came together to shake hands, hear their stories, pray for them, let them hold other peoples babies, swim, and show them a wee bit of our appreciation of what they do for us.

21 turkeys, 50 USDA t-bones, 5 roasts, plus a slew more was prepared by hand with love. 

Our cup runneth over...

You see, they didn't have their Mommas here, and this Momma didn't have her babies either.
I'm not sure who got more out of the day 
Them or ME!

Appreciating and thanking those who serve!!!

Two of my favorite things....

Adorable Fat

Naked Babies and Bella...

Celebrating life...

I have thought about this post for awhile now. How do I express the loss of a man I once loved the most without feeling like I'm not honoring my present love of my life? So I decided to do what I do best,  just let it all out. Let my tongue run away with my brain without any filter system what so ever.  Just say exactly what I am feeling and try not to say anything that would hurt anyone.

It's been twenty five years on September 19th that our adorable David left us. It was a Saturday... Some days it seems like a completely different lifetime, and other days it seems like yesterday I was listening to him whistle in the shower and dance around a 5AM so happy to be alive. I am not going to reminisce about David's entire life here, but I can highlight a few amazing moments, our marriage and the birth of both of our beautiful children.. and a whole lot in between.. I want to honor him today by sharing how much we have missed him and also by shedding a light on others that may have gone through loosing a loved one, or going through it now..

Maybe in some way, my story will comfort someone else feeling like their life is over because someone elses life ended. I am here to tell you that you can live and love again when all you can see is darkness.

David brought happiness and love and a boost of energy to everyone he met. I wished I had a picture to post of him, but I don't.  He is remembered by his zest for life, just ask anyone that knew him. This is hard to take knowing he is not here anymore to give out those vibes... But his children are.

There are some things you can not teach in life. Some things that are in your genes, in your blood and in your soul, generation after generation bred in the lives of others that you can not explain..
Qualities richly instilled only by the grace of God. I am so lucky to still have all that part of David living through and in Nicholas and Amanda. It is clear to me, he is still with us.

I would like to think that he can peek down here and see the young man and woman his children have become, and that I didn't give up on life, living and loving.

Today as I honor David and his short time on earth (28 years) and all the good he was, I can not end it there. I must honor the husband and father Chris as been for almost 24 years now. How he was the ultimate kinsman redeemer.. How he took my very young family and loved us completely and reattached that major link that was empty - broken.

Feeling as low as you can go and you think that you are as bottomless as you can get, then there is a bright knight in shinning armor that really does come and save you. This wasn't a fairytale, it was for real. By me loving Chris didn't then, and never will, take away from the love I had for David. And sometimes that is hard to understand, by myself and others. Even after 25 years...

For those of you that are hanging on to the person that was.... It never goes away.. The hole in your soul remains.. David Patrizi will never be forgotten ~ our hearts all still ache. A part of me is gone with him... We still miss you David..

"I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go, our lives are better left to chance. I could have miss the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance.." 

- Garth Brooks

and.. to a new life ahead... please go for it... you must keep you head lifted towards the sky...

"Someone had a hand it in long before we ever new..." -Tracy Byrd

I am here to tell you it is never easy, worrying about what people think.. The day you give that up, you free yourself to live the life you deserve.

Although sometimes it's hard to... you can still dance...

Never loose faith in what God has in store for you.

A world full of children ~ less than abundant

Please click on these images to see them closer...

What is it like to not have electricity in 2012? No running water in your house except for the old timey pump in the middle of a central mud hole. A place where everyone bathes in the broad daylight. Is it only in National Geographic magazines, or do these places really exist today?

It is hard to totally visualize the real poverty and lives of the people you only see on TV. You see it, but it's not that real. You can't hear and smell it. You can't feel the rain or touch the child... These are images on a screen brought to you while you are on your couch, in your brick home, sipping lemonade and if you need to pee you can go to the toilet inside.

Well I am here to share my 5 days in Cambodia, the smells, images, and most of all the feeling that lingers in my heart. I won't have to describe that in words, you can see for yourself...

We left a fancy smancy hotel in Thailand and arrived to Siem Reap Cambodia to a sub par hotel by tuk tuk. It had brown running water, not hot, and no pressure. But there was a bed and TV. How could I complain considering the living conditions right next door below my window was a thatched roof awning only, wet nasty ground from the nights rain and the outdoor kitchen, or should I say a chopping block and a few pans. I have no idea how they actually cooked or where they slept. Oh, and the screaming baby, not crying, but blood curdling screams and often.

Cambodia is known for it's fabulous temples especially Ankor Wat. The temples were amazing and something quite different than I have ever seen before. But the memory I have today is not fallen down carved rocks, it's the eyes of the children and the way of life I witnessed them living. They played with rocks and plastic bags and were butt naked in the dirt. The hope I saw in them while they looked at me.. I can not describe the smells of sewer, nasty fish, stagnant ponds, burning wood and car exhaust. None of the sniffs were pleasant, matter of fact the only thing I can remember smelling good was the perfectly placed flowers on the ground outside one temple and the smell of bacon cooking in the morning from my bed and breakfast. Everything else reeked of poor.

I could write about this and that, what we ate, and what we saw and what effected us. But I am a visual person and I will just share that instead.

Their way of life was just that, their way of life.

 This 12 year old boy is not at a soccer tournament...

 I wanted this one...

 This is how we were greeted on the quad bikes in the country side by hundreds of children. 

So today, as you sign your kid up for summer camp, think about whats on sale at the mall, or cook that tenderloin.. please consider giving more of yourself to those that don't have anything but hope.

I sure want to change my life to be more of a giver.